you were here

2 years back, you were here at this very right spot..2 years later, the spot you've had stand once never changed but its empty now..for some reason being alone with this spot for 2 years makes me think allot..allot of you...days and nights without you and yet you still appear in front of me..but its different now..you've had 2 girlfriends after me and I had none. You made me the happiest girl in that 4 months of knowing you. Is it because its been too long of a time, our distance starts to get even further and our relationship could not maintain anymore?
 I question myself every night before I knock off..why did I let you go??Why didn't you hold me back??Was I too easy to go after? or was I just not your type anymore?
 After going to Malacca with you and your family..I started to realize that the spot you once stand, was still clean, and I've always been waiting for the day you come back and stand with me back in that very same spot.
 I admit it was foolish of me not to think before I speak, it was foolish of me not to tell you the words I was suppose to say, and now all I can do is text you like a fool and being foolish to hope for your replies.
 You once gave me hope and light in my life, even though you aren't here anymore. I still dream of me and you holding hands in together,watching a movie,talking on the phone and share our little secrets together. Do the things that we did not accomplish before.
 I text you this evening and hope for your replies. I kept telling myself that you must be too busy to read my messages and hardly had time to reply. But its late at night now and I still haven't receive a single reply from you.Maybe you find me annoying now..maybe its time for me to say goodbye..time for me to say let end this!='(

 Yes if your wondering...I am crying in my heart and it hurts allot!I'm trying not to show any expression out so no one can figure out what's happening to me..every night before I sleep I will plan how am I going to confess to you...every time when I chant I pray that you will one day open up your heart to me and accept me and accept my heart. Every single time I see you online I really wish to talk to you..every single time I text you the first message I hope to see would be you. I wish to cry out loud..I wish to tell you how I really feel..I wish to let you know every single details of me..all my flaws and weaknesses and beauty. I hope this is not too much for me to ask from you. But I hope you will understand me...understand a girl that has not let you go since the day she said the wrong word..the girl that has stood in the same spot looking at you shadows fading..the girl that cries every valentine's day to wish to hear a word of I Love You..the girl that has to get every details of you from your sister to your social networks.

All I ask for is a second chance for me to make things right,a second chance for me to tell you how much you mean to me. ='(

xoxo

B.G